Jerking At The Car Wash
Tuesday, January 26th, 2010 |
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| When word got out, last week, that two of the world's hottest pornstars had just started up a car-washing service, every single Tom, Dick and Harry in the neighbourhood hurtled over there just as fast as their wheels would spin!....But as it happened, the sexy entrepreneurs in question turned out to be Alanah Rae and Jessica Lynn...which was really good news for Dick...but not such good news for Tom and Harry!.....You see, both, Alanah and Jessica have become so accustomed to the over-size dicks of the porniverse....that the guys they've been meeting in their normal, day to day lives simply can't compete!....So they came up with the idea to start a car wash where every guy who drove through with a big enough dick could get his car cleaned for free....naively thinking that they'd be up to their tits in big dicks in no time!......But outside the porn industry, big dicks are, actually, quite rare....And the girls soon realized that the bigger and flashier the vehicle that pulled up, the smaller the guy's dick that was driving it was!......But you know how these things go.....Just as Alanah and Jessica had resigned themselves to a life of being hit on by men with big cars and small dicks, a British guy called Keiran pulled in....And his dick was more than big enough to satisfy the two girls until their next porn shoot!....I guess that old saying about all big dicks coming on she who waits must really be true!
Jessica Lynn and Alanah Rae free video clips and photos come courtesy of Pornstars Like It Big Proof of all Brazzers models ages can be found by clicking here | |||||
 Jessica Lynn's Hot Movies |
 Alanah Rae at HotMovies.com |
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| Having a big cock may seem like a blessing...but like most gifts from the gods, it comes at a cost!....Guys like us may not be able to hold our heads up, quite as high, in a public shower....but we can count our blessings that we don't spend our lives in fear of being attacked by wild cougars!....The above illustrations should give the man with a small to average penis some idea of some of the trials that more well endowed men like Keiran go through every single day of their lives!.....You will see that poor Keiran is just harmlessly going about his business when he is brutally attacked by the vicious cougar, Rayveness!.....I've been watching Rayveness for years, now...and I always knew, deep down, that there was something not-quite-right about her.....For one thing, the woman is 37 years old...but, somehow, her tits have managed to remain 25!....What's the deal with that?.....Anyway, her stunning, freakishly-perfect, youthful figure, notwithstanding.....Keiran survived his terrifing ordeal with Rayveness, this time...but she'll be back!....And she'll keep coming back until she's exhausted every last drop of jiz out of poor Keiran's cougar-bait dick!.....Kind of puts that whole "I wish I had a big cock, too" mode-of-thinking in perspective, doesn't it?
Rayveness free video clips and photos come courtesy of Milfs Like It Big  Proof of all Brazzers models ages can be found by clicking here | |||||
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Rayveness's Hot Movies |
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Oh my fucking God it's Baby Cakes and Delotta Brown!.....Just writing those two names in the same sentence gives me a viagra-size stiffy!....And speaking of viagra...Whatever you do, don't ever take one before watching these girls perform together!.....A 72 hour erection might sound like alot of fun.....but, at some point, you're going to have to leave the house....And it can be really embarrassing when you're trying to do your grocery shopping!....Anyway, the reason we find these two heavenly bodies within such comfortable groping-distance of one another's spectacular boobies is that Baby wants to try her hand at a little body art!....Seeing as Baby is her dear, dear friend....Delotta has, naturally, invited her around to practice on her tits!....After all, what are enormous-breasted friends for?.....Now..you have to keep in mind that this is Baby's first attempt and I truly believe she has what it takes to become an excellent tit-painter!......All the same, she could do with a little coaching which is why I was so glad when Delotta's artist neighbour, Voodoo showed up to give her a few helpful hints......In fact, if you look at his work closely, I think you'll agree that we can all learn a great deal about tit-painting from Voodoo's technique....Watching this man demonstrate his expertise on Delotta's and Baby's super-size gazongas is truly inspiring!.....I'm sure you'll be particularly impressed with how they look after he's added his finishing touches!
Baby Cakes and Delotta Brown free video clips and photos come courtesy of Big Naturals Proof of all Reality Kings models ages can be found by clicking here | |||
 Delotta Brown at HotMovies.com |
 Baby Cakes at HotMovies.com |
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Baby oil's fucking awesome, isn't it?....There's just so much shit you can do with it!....You can pour it all over Shyla Stylez....You can pour it all over Brittney Skye.....And if you're feeling really adventurous, you can pour it all over Shyla Stylez and Brittney Skye and then fuck them both in the ass!.....As I'm sure you can imagine, the first two options are both excellent....But after watching this scene, I can categorically promise you that they both absolutely pale in comparison to the third!....The scene stars Keiran Lee as a ne'er-do-well, homeless dude who finds a magical golden ticket in a discarded chocolate bar that transports him to an enchanted alternate universe full of Brittney, Shyla, baby oil and of course, butt sex!.....But sadly, nothing lasts for ever....And after jizzing on Brittney's and Shyla's faces, Keiran is transported back to his lowly shopping cart.....I think what Brazzers were trying to convey here is that life is full of ups and downs and not to give up just because, right now, you're down and out.....Then again, they could have just been trying to convey how awesome it would be to cover Shyla Stylez and Brittney Skye in baby oil and then fuck them both in the ass!
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